


Jake, Bee Stings, and No Inhibitions

by mirjegan



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Allergies, Established Jake/Amy, Established Relationship, F/M, Oneshot, Prompt Fic, bee stings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 09:44:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4175181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirjegan/pseuds/mirjegan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake is allergic to bees. He gets stung, takes his allergy medication, and consequently loses his mental filter. Chaos ensues. Established Jake/Amy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jake, Bee Stings, and No Inhibitions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gwritesforfun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwritesforfun/gifts).



> This is not edited and I will probably go through and fix any typos in the morning. I just wanted to get it up soon, so here it is! The prompt was "Jake gets stung while out on a case. His medication makes him loopy at the precinct. Chaos ensues.", given to me by Gwritesforfun. I hope you enjoy it!

It was a normal case.

They were on a stakeout, which the captain was hesitant to send them on together now that they were, well, together. Jake had his nuts, and Amy had her apple slices, and honestly, they were enjoying each other’s company even though they were on the job.

They were waiting to see if the forger would show up at his usual hideout when a bee flew in through Amy’s open window, landed on Jake’s arm, and stung him.

“Aw, shit! That hurt!” Jake flicked the bee out his window, rubbing the spot where the stinger had pierced him.

Amy was already rummaging through her bag, looking for his meds. Jake was allergic to bees, but he was so unorganized he often didn’t have the pills on him when he needed them. It was a good thing he wasn’t anaphylactic. She had taken to keeping a double of everything he might need in her purse, and it had saved him a lot of trouble in the four months they had been together.

“Thanks, Ames,” he muttered as she handed him the pill pack. They were meant to reduce swelling and hives, just so that he could keep going through his day. Otherwise, he would have been out for the count. It wasn’t hospital worthy; he just had to sleep it off, but it wasn’t a pleasant experience. These seemed to help.

Even as they sat there for another half an hour, Amy noticed Jake start to get a little loopy. He switched the radio station five times a minute. He sat up incredibly straight and flapped his arms like he was flying, making ‘whoosh’ sounds. He grinned at her every time he looked over, not at all keeping his mind on the task at hand.

Eventually, she called it in, and got permission from Captain Holt to return to the precinct. She managed to convince Jake to let her drive. He was in no fit state to do it. When they pulled in to his parking spot, she turned the car off and turned to him.

“Okay, you need to get your shit together here, Jake.”

“Yes dear.” He wasn’t looking at her, his eyes tracking randomly through the space above her head.

“No, I’m not kidding.” She grabbed his chin gently to make him look at her. “You are going back to work now. Like, real work. And you need to get paid because remember how we’re looking at apartments together? We can’t do that on just my salary. Also, you will never live this down if you don’t get yourself together.”

A sudden moment of lucidness seemed to come over him for a moment, and he kissed her forehead. “I will get my shit together,” he promised.

He didn’t have his shit together.

Upon entering the precinct, Jake stumbled over to a desk and sat hurriedly down in the chair, which Amy had instructed him to do. The only problem was, it wasn’t his desk.

“Hey Jakey! What’s up? How did your stakeout go?” Charles had returned from the break room to find his seat occupied by Jake, spinning in very fast circles.

“It was greeaaaaat. We didn’t see the bad guy though. That was not great. Your chair is so fast!”

“Yeah it is! High five!”

Jake missed the high five entirely, which didn’t surprise Amy at all, after the fact. She wasn’t watching at this point, she was filling in the captain on what had happened on their unsuccessful stakeout.

“Anything else you wanted Jakey?” Charles was starting to get concerned about Jake, still spinning lazily in his chair.

“Nah man, just enjoying the ride. What are you doing here?”

“Trying to work, actually.”

“Aw but that’s so boooooring. Spinning is much more fun. Leave me to spin.”

“Alright, I’ll see you Jakey.” Charles was too nice to say anything to Jake, so he left him to his devices and moved his work to the break room. At that moment, Amy came back out of the captain’s office.

“Jake! Come on, get out of Charles’ desk space.” She grabbed him by the shoulders and marched him over to his own chair, which, he discovered to his extreme disappointment, did not spin nearly as well as Charles’ did.

“Amyyyyyyyy, this chair suuuucks,” he pouted, holding on to her wrist. She pulled herself free, gently, and pushed him in to the desk.

“Well, you’re just going to have to deal with that, because you are a big, strong, mature,” she leaned in close, “sexy detective, aren’t you?”

He perked up at her words. “Yes I am!”

“Great!” she chuckled. “Then you can sit still right here for the rest of the day, right? And try and get some work done.”

“Yes dear.”

“Santiago!” Holt’s booming voice echoed across the room, and she straightened up abruptly, hoping she and Jake hadn’t looked unprofessional. “I need you in the evidence lockup. Something came in concerning your robbery case.”

“Yes sir! I’ll be right there.” She turned to glare at Jake again, lowering herself to his eye level. This was hard to do, considering he was distracted by everything happening in the precinct. “Do not move. Move, and you are dead.”

He giggled and nodded his understand, so she begrudgingly stalked off to where the captain was waiting for her.

Jake, for his part, had honestly meant it when he agreed to stay put. The problem was that the medication for his allergies made him so loopy he very promptly forgot his promise to his very tense-looking girlfriend, and stood up and wandered in to the captain’s vacant office. Gina was out on lunch, and no one paid attention to him. At least, not until he came out where the captains hat.

“Look at me! I’m the captain now!” Jake climbed up on a chair, striking a pirates pose, managed to look badass for all of three seconds, and then promptly fell of.

“Jake, what are you doing?” Rosa looked up from her desk, her voice as flat as ever.

“I am the captain! Bow before me!” Jake was teetering, trying to get back on his feet. Charles faked a bow, while Rosa settled with going “Uh, no,” and returning to her work. Terry tried to intervene.

“Jake, what are you doing!”

“Sarge, I am in charge of you now. You must bow before me!”

“I’m not gonna do that. You are going to go return that hat before Holt returns and drops you on your sorry ass for taking it!”

“But Saaarge, I’m so amazing. Tell me I’m so amazing.”

“Jake!” Amy had burst back on the scene, with Captain Holt directly behind her. She spun around wildly, hoping to console the captain before he got angry, but his face had already set.

“Peralta, Santiago. My office. Now.”

He brushed past Jake and entered his office, shutting the blinds. Amy hurried after him, grabbing Jake by elbow and dragging him with her. She got him in the small room, sat him on the couch, and then shut the door behind them.

“Santiago, what is going on here? Peralta seems very out of sorts, and I assume since the two of you are…” he paused, uncomfortable as always to be discussing the personal lives of his detectives, “involved, you will be able to explain the situation.”

“Yes captain,” Amy said earnestly, “I can explain. It’s really not Jake’s fault. While we were on our stakeout, Jake got stung by a bee, and he’s allergic, so he’s on these meds to make sure he doesn’t break out in hives and stuff, but they make him all loopy. So that’s why he’s acting strangely.” As if to prove her point, Jake was making quiet bird noises to himself in the corner.

“Why hasn’t he gone home?”

“Quite frankly sir, I’m not sure he could make it home by himself. Also… his apartment is undergoing some repairs so he’s staying with me right now.” Amy let the last bit out in a rush, turning bright red. It was still strange to share this part of her life with the captain and her fellow detectives. The captain laced his fingers together pensively.

“Alright, he can stay here as long as you do. Try and keep him out of trouble, but still get your work done.”

“Yes captain, thank you so much,” Amy spluttered. She got Jake up and out of the office again, anxious to leave before Holt changed his mind. She tried to sit him in his chair again, with her sitting across from him so that she could keep an eye on him. It worked until she had to get up again; she was called over to Rosa’s desk to review something. Again, Jake immediately forgot the ‘stay here’ instructions.

“Terry?”

“Yes Jake?” Terry looked up from his yogurt, forgetting Jake was high on anti-allergy medication.

“I need to go see Charles but my legs don’t work. Will you carry me there?”

“What?”

“Carry me to see Charles. Or are you too weak?” Even when his mind was barely working, Jake still knew how to tease. Terry took the bait and Jake jumped on to his back, piggyback style.

They visited Charles, and Scully, and they even managed to get downstairs. At this point, Amy had come back to her desk and started searching for Jake. When she heard the elevator ding, and saw Jake and Terry walk out, she was furious.

“Jake! What did I say about keeping still! And Terry! What are you doing helping him!” Amy was several inches shorter than Terry, but she still managed to be intimidating.

“Sorry Santiago, I was just trying to keep him occupied. He reminded me of my girls, and how they ask me to do things for them.” Terry was wringing his hands as he spoke, and Amy forgave him on the grounds that she could absolutely understand how Jake sounded like a five year old.

Once she had Jake safely in his chair again, she once again lowered herself to his level. He actually held her gaze this time, which she took as a good sign.

“I am giving you one more change here, and then you will be in serious trouble. You will be sleeping on the couch if I have to stop you from pissing anyone off again today. Do you understand? For real this time?”

He nodded again. She wasn’t convinced, but there wasn’t much more she could do.

He managed to last much longer this time, even without her always around to babysit him. He played with every pen on his desk, opened every drawer eight times, and rifled through all his files. And then Jake decided he was hungry.

He got up, got himself sandwich materials from the kitchen, and then spun around haphazardly and plopped himself at the nearest empty desk. He laid down his bread and started spreading butter, thoroughly missing the bread and getting it across half the empty desk space.

Everyone in the precinct stopped and stared at him. Silence fell. Jake remained oblivious until the motion of someone stalking determinedly towards him caught his attention. He looked up into the furious eyes of Rosa Diaz.

“What are you doing here, Peralta.” 

“Making a sandwich. Do you want one?” He offered her a half covered slice of bread.

Rosa cocked her head, ready to pound his for messing up her desk. Her curls bounced wildly. Her curled her lip, ready to give him what he deserved, and then, always the savior, Amy stepped in.

“Rosa, it’s the end of the day. I promise I will clean up your desk first thing tomorrow. Jake is sorry. Right Jake?” He nodded solemnly.

Rosa stepped back. “Fine. I want it spotless.”

“Yes ma’am.” Amy did a salute, immediately regretted it, and then pulled Jake up and pulled him to the captain’s office.

“Captain?” Holt looked up, waiting for her to continue.

“I’m taking him home. He can’t be here any more. I don’t see any reason why he shouldn’t be here in the morning though. Thank you for your patience with him.”

“No problem Santiago. Enjoy your night.” And with that, he turned back to his papers.

Amy managed to Jake and all of their belongings in to the elevator in record time, exclaiming goodbyes to the rest of the squad with no explanation. Once inside, she let him go, and backed herself in to a corner, crossing her arms. She knew it wasn’t his fault, but she was pissed he had cost her so much work time.

“I can’t believe this day actually happened,” Amy huffed.

“Yeah…” Jake’s voice came from the floor, where he was sitting. “It wasn’t a great day. Did you know the walls of this floating box are purple?”

The elevator was definitely not purple, but Amy saw no reason to inform him of that. Jake sighed, and leaned his head against her knee.

“I love you, you know.”

And even after the day he had put her through, even with all the strange things he had said in the last few hours, she knew that those words were true, and forgave him instantly.

“Yeah, I love you too.”


End file.
